A funny anecdote. I went to my department's potluck Christmas luncheon yesterday. Polly made two desserts for me to take: pumpkin cheesecake and iced pecan brownies. Both were great. Things got started at ten, and we didn't eat until noon, and during that time, we discussed issues we were facing in our work. One woman, with whom I don't work that closely, talked about problems she was having with HUD's website, which we use to report on our housing programs that involve HUD funds. There were sixteen of us sitting around tables arranged in a U shape listening to her, and at one point she said, "...and I posted the report and am sure I saved it, but the next day, I went back to make some revisions, and there was nothing there! All the data I had entered was gone! I tell you, I had a stroke!"
No one said anything, the only responses were head nods as everyone empathized with her predicament. Into the silence I said, "That's not funny."
The woman paused, but didn't acknowledge my comment. Several others, though, who know me well and knew that I was kidding, laughed.
The room was cold, and by the time we ate the spasticity had made my legs stiff, so I remained seated while everyone else formed a line to get their food. A young woman asked me if I wanted her to get me a plate, which in Kentucky means fill a plate with a little of everything and bring to me. I told her no thanks, that I was just waiting until the line got shorter. After we ate, we played some Christmas-themed games, then I left at three for the long drive home.
Everyone there knew I'd had a stroke, including the woman who made the comment about having one. She never mentioned it, though, and I got the feeling she was embarrassed by having said it. I thought about telling her I wasn't offended, but never got around to it. And as for the young woman who offered to get me a plate, I wasn't offended by that either. To me, that just showed she was raised right, and knew basic good manners.
I tend to be a private person, but I'm not sensitive to comments about my stroke, or stroke in general, as long as they're not made in a purposely derogatory manner. Heaven knows I've made my share of unthinking comments that I've later regretted. After having a stroke, my life is too short to spend any remaining part of it being offended by trivialities, or dealing with people who wallow in the trivial.
