Saturday, December 14, 2013

More about Guilt


I’ve never been too critical of guilt.  Sure it can be harmful if taken to extremes, but so can any other emotion.  Kept within reasonable boundaries, it can be just as beneficial as trust, loyalty, love, hate, tolerance or any other.  It’s not the case that there are good emotions and bad ones.  They’re all useful; they all serve a purpose, otherwise they wouldn’t be part of us.
Guilt is, actually, especially important.  It serves as our moral compass, letting us know when our actions have injured others unnecessarily.  I have felt guilt at various times in my life, and always considered it justified.  It always appeared after I did something I shouldn’t have, a thought or an action that I regretted, or should have regretted.  If you never felt guilt, you'd be a Republican, and no one wants that.

I carry a lot of guilt now over the fact that I contributed to my stroke.  I knew my blood pressure was high, but ignored a doctor’s advice to take blood pressure medication. I was stubbornly determined to bring it down by diet and exercise.  With the result that I had a hemorrhagic stroke, causing a great deal of worry and stress to my family.
Another belief about guilt that I disagree with is that it paralyzes us, holds us back, keeps us from moving on, etc., etc.  This may be true for some people, but it isn’t universally true, because it isn’t true for me.  I feel guilt over my refusal to take the necessary steps to prevent my stroke, but that hasn’t stopped me from moving on with my life to the best of my ability. 

There is a human tendency to regard our own reactions and responses as being the same for  everyone, but for subjective experiences like guilt that’s not always true.  I, also, don’t try to deny the guilt, or make it go away by “forgiving myself” for what I did.  I deserve to feel guilty about it, and in fact it gives me incentive to recover to the very greatest extent I can. 
I let the guilt motivate me.  It’s part of the way I try to live:  to see the world as it is, and to see myself as I am, and accept the consequences of my actions.  Then move on with living.