Cursed Spasticity

Spasticity on my left side continues to get worse.  I was hoping warmer weather would bring some relief, but that's not happening.  It eases off when I go to bed, and when I wake up in the morning I can barely feel it.  As soon as I throw the cover off, though, it begins, and by the time I come out of the bathroom it's back in full force.  By the end of the day I'm exhausted from fighting it and can't wait to collapse into bed.  And the cycle begins again. 

Peter Levine has written that spasticity is the result of the body trying to protect the affected arm and leg when they are no longer controlled by the damaged part of the brain.  I think that's pretty close to his opinion on it, anyway.  But that doesn't apply to me.  I have good control over my left side.  My gross and fine motor skills on that side are almost identical to those on the right.  I don't have surface sensation on my left side, though, so maybe my nervous system interprets that as a condition that necessitates that muscles stay contracted. 

Whatever is bringing it on, it's beginning to interfere with daily activities, including my job.  My work involves spending a lot of time on my computer keyboard, and I compensate for the stiffness in my left arm and hand by only using my left index finger to type.  But lately I'm having to take more breaks so I can flex and stretch my fingers and wrist out in order to relieve the pain that sets in after just a few minutes. 

The spastic muscles in my leg are less troublesome at work, but they do limit what I can get done around the house, and believe me, there is a lot that needs to get done around our house.  As in so many other aspects of my stroke, though, I'm lucky in that I'm right handed, and lucky that gas and brake pedals are on the right, so my ability to drive is intact. 

I still force myself to stretch and exercise and walk, but it's becoming harder every day.  I've talked to my doctor about Botox, and may give it a try if things don't get better.  I tell myself I can't give in to the spasticity and give up and just sit, although that seems very inviting.  Sometimes you just get tired of the struggle.  I tell myself, though, that everyone has their own unique struggle and this is mine, and it's not nearly as bad as some others, so I keep going.